Because of Dad, we can do anything.
Our Black fathers teach us how to be bold, fearless, and throw down on the grill or at the Spades table. Good Black fathers support the family, the house, and us kids when we need someone in our corner with a strong shoulder to lean on.
But sometimes, our Black men need support, too.
We’ve learned so much from our dads, and we want to give them a chance to share their unique brand of wisdom with other Black fathers who could use some advice, a pat on the back, or just a reminder that they’re doing the right things. So the BOTWC staff asked the Black men in our lives to pass down their fatherly wisdom and give us their very best dad advice.
Right in time for Father’s Day, here’s some advice from Black dads for Black dads.
Answers have been edited for length and clarity.
“The most important thing a Black father should know is the importance of being around and present for your kids no matter what. Stay true to yourself, never give up, remain humble, and always seek out God no matter what you have going on.” –Justin Wiggins, 31, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
“It’s way too early for me to be giving advice! But I’d say find peace, wellness, and true self-love within yourself so it can inform how you show up for those whom you raise. Understanding is the most important thing a Black father should have.” – JP Reynolds, 36, New York City
“The best fatherly wisdom I would give other Black fathers is to communicate with your kids. I knew that my children truly appreciated me when no matter where I wanted to go, they wanted to be with me.” – William H. Jackson, 67, Bowie, Maryland
“A skill to provide and pass down to your family is the most important thing a Black father should have.” – Delrico Ford, 38, Sunrise, Florida
“A Black father should know how to pray. When your children come into the world, don’t try to mold them into who you want them to become, but love them for who they already are.” – TJ Dean, 43, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
“Optimize your child’s gifts. See your children for who they are and meet them where they are at in tending and caring for them instead of just running a program that was passed on to you directly or indirectly. Patience is the most important thing a Black father should know.” – Divine Bradley, 41, Southern Vermont
“A support system and vulnerability are the most important things a Black father should have. Vulnerability makes you open to change and rewires your thought process. I’ve learned more about myself by allowing myself to be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to do those silly little dances with your kid or paint your fingernails together. Your kid looks at you like the coolest guy in the world, don’t let machismo get in the way.” – Turner Pride, 34, Raleigh, North Carolina
“Tough skin is the most important thing a Black father should have, and love is the most important thing a Black father should know. Unlearn what you were taught and organically learn new ways to parent.” – Young E. Class, 35, from Washington, D.C.
“Don’t struggle in silence; isolation is suffocation. When it gets stressful, you gotta breathe. Connect and build with other fathers in a real way. You never know whose family may get saved or whose life may be changed from simple honest and transparent conversations with other solid men.” –Jimmie Jones, 39, Detroit, Michigan
“Take more interest in your children. Your job is to raise them and feed them, but there’s more to fatherhood than that. You don’t know what’s happening in their lives outside of the home. Pay attention, be vigilant. Don’t try to control them, but sometimes you have to be the tough guy. When it comes to daughters, be aggressive about who they’re dating. With my son, I taught him discipline and accountability. Never let your children settle. Later on, they’ll appreciate you for it. Love, patience, self-control, and Christ are the most important things a Black father should have in his life.” – Wardell, 78, Hampton, Virginia
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there! We love and appreciate you!
Cover Photo: Happy Father’s Day! Advice for Black Fathers, From Black Fathers / Photo credit: @TheDrePabon/@The.Family.Lab